Living in Willingness - Dev Copy
Sometimes we say yes when we do not know what else to say.
What if you could manage to only do and experienced things that you are really enthusiastic about?
Instead of saying "yes" right away, when we receive a request (an offer, a demand, coercion, a bid, an incentive, or really anything), we can try asking ourselves:
The Willingness Scale
Why am I saying yes to this? What would this give me that I value?
(Will it give me anything I value?) How do I feel about this?
Set aside 30 minutes to consider this scale and the implications on how you’ve been living.
Here are a few invitations to try over the next two weeks. I recommend only trying one of them at a time.
Pausing to Check Your Current Willingness While Acting
Alternate approach (skip steps 4&5 above and try this instead):
4. Take a deep breath. Consider what you were just doing. What level of willingness do you have to do this activity?
5. If the answer is not a 1 or a 2, set a timer on your phone for 2 minutes. Brainstorm how you can change the activity so that you are doing it with more willingness. Rank your willingness to try these new ideas. If you have a willingness for at least one option of 1, 2, or 3, spend 5 minutes doing the version you have the highest willingness for.
6. If none of the ideas you write down seem appealing (at a level 10-7 of willingness), then ask yourself: what needs is this action meeting for me? This might be a need for safety or financial security. Those are very real needs. Explore the needs list for other examples.
Pausing to Fully Receive a Request
If you found this helpful or have suggestions on how to make this better, I’d love to know!
I’d feel especially honored if you are willing to share any notes from trying the practices.