Agreements - NVC Desi

Agreements
REMEMBER TO PLAY: We learn best when we play with ways of doing things that we are unfamiliar with. This gives us the capacity to integrate whatever we find helpful.
PRACTICE SELF FOCUS: We care for and speak about our own experiences and responses. We avoid generalizing in ways that make assumptions about others, while still allowing us to talk about systems of power & priviledge.
CULTIVATE KIND INTENT AND ADDRESS NEGATIVE IMPACTS: We focus on understanding and acknowledging impact. We know focusing solely on intent of an action can dismiss the impact and that dismissal can compound the original harm.
PRACTICE “BOTH / AND”: When speaking, we substitute “and” for “but.” This practice acknowledges and honors multiple realities.
REFRAIN FROM BLAMING OR SHAMING SELF & OTHERS: We focus on observations about specific memories, words, and actions over moral judgements.
TAKE SPACE / MAKE SPACE: We support full participation by all present. We take note of who is speaking and who is not. If we tend to speak often, we attempt to “move back” and vice versa. We track how much time we and others have spoken and adjust.
PRACTICE MINDFUL LISTENING: We listen to others with our whole selves. We are willing to be surprised, to learn something new. We avoid planning a response
ONE MIC, ONE DIVA: We keep ourselves muted when we are not speaking. This supports folx easeful participation in the session.
WHAT IS LEARNED HERE LEAVES; WHAT IS SAID STAYS: We take home learnings and stories. We avoid sharing people’s identities. If we want to follow up with anyone regarding something they have said, we ask and are willing to receive a “no”.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE LARGER BODY: We recognize that we are part of collective systems and communities much greater than ourselves. Nothing we hold, experience, or contribute is done in complete isolation.
TRUST THAT EVERYONE IS TRYING TO MEET A UNIVERSAL HUMAN NEED: We attempt to understand the underlying intention of others, as much as we have capacity to, especially when it has a tragic impact.
FOLLOW THE LEADERSHIP OF THOSE MOST IMPACTED: When we engage with material that impacts other community members more than us, we trust the people with the most embodied experience of the impact to lead us effectively to collective clarity.
MOVE TOWARDS EQUITY: We recognize that systemic and historical privileges are acting on our social spaces. So, we center experiences and concerns of those most targeted by systems of oppression with awareness of intersections, including: Trans, Queer, Muslim, Femme, Materially Poor, Disabled, Indigenous, Refugee, Black, Immigrant, People of Color, Neurodivergent, and other marginalized/oppressed life experiences
TAKE EXQUISITE CARE OF YOURSELF: We take care of ourselves with breaks, turning off our cameras, requests to the facilitator, bringing any additional resources, and/or, comforts we need.